EMBRACE • EDUCATE • EMPOWER • LOVE
Solidarity • Advocacy • Empowerment
For all LGBTQIA2+ Individuals + Families, Organizations, and Schools through
Coaching, Consulting, and Education
AS SEEN IN
Podcast
EPISODE 78:WHEN YOUR LGBTQIA+ LOVED ONE FACES NON-AFFIRMING FOLKS DURING THE HOLIDAYS
DISCOVER CHRYSALIS MAMA
Transforming the Conversation
Hi, my name is Heather Hester. Welcome to Chrysalis Mama.
You have probably landed on this page because your child or a loved one (grandchild? niece? friend?) has recently come out as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, or another sexual orientation or gender identity and you are looking for resources and tools. I know the joys and challenges of parenting an LGBTQ child.
Or, maybe you’re here because your company or organization is looking for Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) speakers or consulting. I can help you with that!
Don’t panic. Take a deep breath. You are in the right place. I’ve been where you are. I’ve felt the shock, the joy, the terror, the growth, the unconditional love, the fierce mama bear response. It’s A LOT! And, it can be challenging to find support, guidance, resources, and education. That’s why I’m here.
Chrysalis Mama is the product of our family’s journey with depression, anxiety, and embracing our son, who, among many wonderful traits, is gay. It is my desire to pass on valuable information and offer support to those who are on a similar journey of loving and raising an LGBTQ+ child.
My mission is to transform the conversation around embracing, education, empowering, and loving LGBTQIA+ adolescents, teenagers, and young adults.
You may be asking – how do we change this conversation? I believe it starts within each one of us, blossoms within our families, and then grows within our communities and beyond. My principles are simple yet effective – To embrace, educate, empower, and love.
I am grateful for this opportunity to connect with parents, allies, advocates, and all who are, among all of their many wonderful traits, LGBTQ!
Nestled in this site you will find:
My award-winning podcast, Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen
An in-depth blog
Resources, including a glossary and mental health support
Details on the keynote and workshop speaking opportunities I offer
Multiple other ways to connect and learn!
PODCAST
Do you have a child, teen, or young adult who identifies as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, or another sexual orientation or gender identity?
Do you feel alone in your effort to support them on their journey or navigate your own?
Do you want to learn how to make your work environment more inclusive and well-informed?
Using a combination of solo episodes on in-depth topics and interviews with fascinating guests. Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ+ Teen helps calm you, educate you, inspire you, and support you on this beautifully unpredictable journey.
BLOG
Covering topics ranging from the LGBTQ+ coming out process to mental health to improving diversity, equity, and inclusion in corporate spaces - the Chrysalis Mama blog is a space to learn, grow, and become empowered.
How to Show Up for LGBTQ+ Loved Ones During the Holidays
How to Show Up for LGBTQ+ Loved Ones During the Holidays
The holiday season is often a mix of joy, connection, and reflection—but it can also be a time of stress, anxiety, and emotional challenges. For our LGBTQ+ friends, family members, and loved ones, this season can amplify feelings of isolation, loneliness, or distress, especially with ongoing challenges in our world.
So, how can we show up meaningfully this holiday season? How can we offer support, create safe spaces, and show the LGBTQ+ people in our lives that they are loved and valued.
The Power of Boundaries: What Are They and Why Do We Need Them?
Boundaries are often misunderstood as barriers, but in reality, they are invitations for healthier relationships. They provide clarity on what topics, behaviors, or expectations are off-limits while allowing us to connect in ways that feel safe, authentic, and rooted in love.
During the holidays, family dynamics, societal expectations, and the pressure to keep everyone happy can leave us feeling stretched thin or misunderstood. This is where boundaries become essential.
Setting boundaries might sound like:
• “Let’s avoid this topic today and focus on being together.”
• “I’m stepping away for a moment to take a breath.”
These small but powerful statements give us permission to care for ourselves while still showing up for others.
And while setting boundaries can feel uncomfortable—trust me, I’ve been there—it’s worth the effort. It takes practice, and yes, there may be pushback. But here’s the truth: you are only responsible for yourself, not for how others react to your boundaries.
Sharing your boundaries with kindness and clarity fosters connection, respect, and healthier relationships.
[Want to dive deeper into setting boundaries? Join me for my January Boundaries Workshop, where we’ll explore tools to help you align your boundaries with who you are and how you want to show up in the world.]
5 Ways to Show Up for LGBTQ+ Loved Ones This Holiday
The holidays can be particularly challenging for LGBTQ+ individuals who may feel lonely, excluded, or unsupported. Here are 5 practical ways to show love and allyship this season:
Be Present: Sometimes, the greatest gift is simply being there. Listen with compassion, without trying to fix or redirect the conversation. Being fully present creates a space where your loved one feels seen and valued.
Lead with Kindness: Small gestures matter. Check in with a heartfelt “How are you doing today?” or spend time together—whether in person or virtually. Acknowledge their struggles with empathy: “I see you. I’m here for you.”
Offer Unconditional Acceptance: Every journey is unique. Celebrate your loved one’s identity and use inclusive language, such as respecting their pronouns. Consistent affirmations like “I’m proud of you” or “I love you as you are” can make all the difference.
Create Safe Spaces: Whether it’s your home, workplace, or online presence, show your allyship by creating supportive, welcoming environments. Display a Pride flag, share inclusive resources, or speak up for the LGBTQ+ community when it matters.
Educate Yourself: Equip yourself with knowledge about LGBTQ+ challenges and experiences. Read books, attend webinars, and learn about current issues. A great place to start is my book, Parenting with Pride, which offers tools, stories, and strategies to support LGBTQ+ loved ones with confidence.
Trusted Resources for LGBTQ+ Support
If you or someone you love needs additional support, here are trusted resources to lean on:
• The Trevor Project: (24/7 Crisis Support): Call 866-488-7386
• Trans Lifeline: Call 877-565-8860
• Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988
• Local LGBTQ+ Centers: Search “LGBTQ+ youth center near me” for counseling, support groups, and events.
Seeking professional mental health support is invaluable. Look for therapists and counselors who specialize in LGBTQ+ care to ensure your loved ones receive affirming and understanding support.
Standing Together This Season
The holidays have a way of highlighting both the joys and the challenges in our lives. By showing up with kindness, compassion, and boundaries, we can create meaningful change for ourselves and our LGBTQ+ loved ones.
Save the Date: Boundaries Workshop Coming in January 2025
If you’re ready to explore boundaries more deeply, my upcoming Boundaries Workshop in January will provide you with tools to set clear, confident, and loving boundaries in your life. Stay tuned for more details!
In the meantime, my Parent Coaching Course is available to guide you with strategies, tools, and confidence to support your LGBTQ+ loved ones this season and beyond.
You are not alone. Sending you love, warmth, and peace as we close out this year.
Explore More Resources
Parenting with Pride: My book with tools, stories, and advice for supporting LGBTQ+ loved ones.
Parent Coaching Course: On-demand guidance to help you navigate this journey with compassion.
Keywords: Supporting LGBTQ+ loved ones, LGBTQ+ Holiday Stress, Setting boundaries for the holidays, LGBTQ+ allyship, Creating safe spaces, Holiday support for LGBTQ+ families
Loving and raising an LGBTQ+ child is a very special journey that comes with very specific joys and challenges. It is vital - not to mention time, money, and potentially life saving - to work with someone who has traveled a similar path.
Here is why - in additional to the benefits of that person's life experience and the knowledge that comes along with it, you also get empathy, validation, and someone who can hold space for you.
Looking for a speaker or presenter on the topic of LGBTQ youth or allyship for your organization or event? You're in the right place!
I have intense life experience on the topic coupled with hundreds of hours consulting with professionals.
Audiences appreciate my raw and empathetic approach.
Parents and allies appreciate the relevant information and stories that provide them with education, tools, and strategies as well as the knowledge that they are not alone!
WORK WITH ME
You are likely on this page because your child or a loved one has recently come out as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, or another sexual orientation or gender identity and you are looking for resources and tools. I know the joys and challenges of parenting an LGBTQ child.
Or, maybe you’re here because your company or organization is looking for someone
to lead LGBTQ+ Allyship workshops or speaking events. I can help you with that!
Don’t panic. Take a deep breath. You are in the right place. I’ve been where you are. I’ve felt the shock, the joy, the terror, the growth, the unconditional love, the fierce mama bear response. It’s A LOT! And, it can be challenging to find support, guidance, resources, and education. That’s why I’m here.
WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT HEATHER
CONTACT
Looking for tips, tools, and strategies along with a little peace of mind? I invite you into the Chrysalis world!
I am grateful for all who have asked how they can help further this mission!
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