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EPISODE 78:WHEN YOUR LGBTQIA+ LOVED ONE FACES NON-AFFIRMING FOLKS DURING THE HOLIDAYS
Transforming the Conversation
Hi, my name is Heather Hester. Welcome to Chrysalis Mama.
You have probably landed on this page because your child or a loved one (grandchild? niece? friend?) has recently come out as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, or another sexual orientation or gender identity and you are looking for resources and tools. I know the joys and challenges of parenting an LGBTQ child.
Or, maybe you’re here because your company or organization is looking for Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) speakers or consulting. I can help you with that!
Don’t panic. Take a deep breath. You are in the right place. I’ve been where you are. I’ve felt the shock, the joy, the terror, the growth, the unconditional love, the fierce mama bear response. It’s A LOT! And, it can be challenging to find support, guidance, resources, and education. That’s why I’m here.
Chrysalis Mama is the product of our family’s journey with depression, anxiety, and embracing our son, who, among many wonderful traits, is gay. It is my desire to pass on valuable information and offer support to those who are on a similar journey of loving and raising an LGBTQ+ child.
My mission is to transform the conversation around embracing, education, empowering, and loving LGBTQIA+ adolescents, teenagers, and young adults.
You may be asking – how do we change this conversation? I believe it starts within each one of us, blossoms within our families, and then grows within our communities and beyond. My principles are simple yet effective – To embrace, educate, empower, and love.
I am grateful for this opportunity to connect with parents, allies, advocates, and all who are, among all of their many wonderful traits, LGBTQ!
Nestled in this site you will find:
My award-winning podcast, Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen
An in-depth blog
Resources, including a glossary and mental health support
Details on the keynote and workshop speaking opportunities I offer
Multiple other ways to connect and learn!
PODCAST
BLOG
Covering topics ranging from the LGBTQ+ coming out process to mental health to improving diversity, equity, and inclusion in corporate spaces - the Chrysalis Mama blog is a space to learn, grow, and become empowered.
As a parenting expert and the author of Parenting with Pride, I’ve spent years helping families navigate the often-challenging journey of supporting LGBTQ+ children. Whether you’re just starting or have already walked this path, I’m here to offer guidance, insight, and encouragement. This post is the first in a series of personal letters where I share my own experience as a mother, with the goal of helping you understand and support your LGBTQ+ child with compassion and confidence.
Dear Parent,
I invite you to join me on a journey—one that has the potential to be life-changing in the most profound ways. This journey may shift your worldview, and while it may feel messy at times, it will also be grounding and deeply transformative.
Curious yet?
Let me take you back eight years. You may be reflecting on your own timeline—whether it’s two years, 10 years, or perhaps you’re walking this path in real time. Take a deep breath with me, and let’s step forward together.
For me, the moment that split time into “before” and “after” was when my son Connor came out as gay.
I remember the details vividly: the color of the walls, the warmth of the Arizona night air, the feeling of fear as Connor was missing, and the overwhelming relief when he finally said, “Mom, I need to tell you something…I’m gay.”
In that instant, everything became clearer—and yet, so many questions arose:
• Do I believe my child is going to hell for being gay? Absolutely not. But I needed to understand why I held this belief, despite the messages I had received growing up.
• Do I think being gay is a choice? No. But I wanted to understand what Connor had been experiencing, feeling, and thinking—and why he was so afraid to share it with us.
That pivotal moment opened the door for my husband and me to confront our own biases and begin the hard work of unlearning them. It wasn’t easy—it was uncomfortable and messy. But I’m forever grateful for the opportunity to grow, evolve, and become the parents our son needed.
You don’t have to be a parent to relate to this journey. You could be a grandparent, friend, teacher, or ally. You might even be part of the LGBTQ+ community yourself. No matter who you are, what matters most is your willingness to embrace this moment with vulnerability and an open heart.
Take a deep breath with me, and let’s anchor ourselves in the truth that none of us are walking this path alone.
Let’s journey together toward understanding and acceptance,
Heather Hester
Parenting Expert & Coach
Author of Parenting with Pride
As you embark on this journey of supporting your LGBTQ+ child, I encourage you to stay connected. Over the coming months, I’ll be sharing more letters and resources to help you navigate this path with confidence. Please share this post with others who may be starting their journey. Remember, support is available—and you don’t have to do this alone. To learn more, check out my book Parenting with Pride or explore my one-on-one coaching services designed specifically for parents and families like yours.
Sign Up Here for The Journey of Understanding
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“Parenting expert Heather Hester shares her family’s coming out journey, offering guidance for parents of LGBTQ+ children. Learn how to support with love and understanding.”
Loving and raising an LGBTQ+ child is a very special journey that comes with very specific joys and challenges. It is vital - not to mention time, money, and potentially life saving - to work with someone who has traveled a similar path.
Here is why - in additional to the benefits of that person's life experience and the knowledge that comes along with it, you also get empathy, validation, and someone who can hold space for you.
Looking for a speaker or presenter on the topic of LGBTQ youth or allyship for your organization or event? You're in the right place!
I have intense life experience on the topic coupled with hundreds of hours consulting with professionals.
Audiences appreciate my raw and empathetic approach.
Parents and allies appreciate the relevant information and stories that provide them with education, tools, and strategies as well as the knowledge that they are not alone!
You are likely on this page because your child or a loved one has recently come out as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, or another sexual orientation or gender identity and you are looking for resources and tools. I know the joys and challenges of parenting an LGBTQ child.
Or, maybe you’re here because your company or organization is looking for someone
to lead LGBTQ+ Allyship workshops or speaking events. I can help you with that!
Don’t panic. Take a deep breath. You are in the right place. I’ve been where you are. I’ve felt the shock, the joy, the terror, the growth, the unconditional love, the fierce mama bear response. It’s A LOT! And, it can be challenging to find support, guidance, resources, and education. That’s why I’m here.
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Looking for tips, tools, and strategies along with a little peace of mind? I invite you into the Chrysalis world!
I am grateful for all who have asked how they can help further this mission!
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