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As a parenting expert and the author of Parenting with Pride, I’ve spent years helping families navigate the often-challenging journey of supporting LGBTQ+ children. Whether you’re just starting or have already walked this path, I’m here to offer guidance, insight, and encouragement. This post is the first in a series of personal letters where I share my own experience as a mother, with the goal of helping you understand and support your LGBTQ+ child with compassion and confidence.
Dear Parent,
I invite you to join me on a journey—one that has the potential to be life-changing in the most profound ways. This journey may shift your worldview, and while it may feel messy at times, it will also be grounding and deeply transformative.
Curious yet?
Let me take you back eight years. You may be reflecting on your own timeline—whether it’s two years, 10 years, or perhaps you’re walking this path in real time. Take a deep breath with me, and let’s step forward together.
For me, the moment that split time into “before” and “after” was when my son Connor came out as gay.
I remember the details vividly: the color of the walls, the warmth of the Arizona night air, the feeling of fear as Connor was missing, and the overwhelming relief when he finally said, “Mom, I need to tell you something…I’m gay.”
In that instant, everything became clearer—and yet, so many questions arose:
• Do I believe my child is going to hell for being gay? Absolutely not. But I needed to understand why I held this belief, despite the messages I had received growing up.
• Do I think being gay is a choice? No. But I wanted to understand what Connor had been experiencing, feeling, and thinking—and why he was so afraid to share it with us.
That pivotal moment opened the door for my husband and me to confront our own biases and begin the hard work of unlearning them. It wasn’t easy—it was uncomfortable and messy. But I’m forever grateful for the opportunity to grow, evolve, and become the parents our son needed.
You don’t have to be a parent to relate to this journey. You could be a grandparent, friend, teacher, or ally. You might even be part of the LGBTQ+ community yourself. No matter who you are, what matters most is your willingness to embrace this moment with vulnerability and an open heart.
Take a deep breath with me, and let’s anchor ourselves in the truth that none of us are walking this path alone.
Let’s journey together toward understanding and acceptance,
Heather Hester
Parenting Expert & Coach
Author of Parenting with Pride
As you embark on this journey of supporting your LGBTQ+ child, I encourage you to stay connected. Over the coming months, I’ll be sharing more letters and resources to help you navigate this path with confidence. Please share this post with others who may be starting their journey. Remember, support is available—and you don’t have to do this alone. To learn more, check out my book Parenting with Pride or explore my one-on-one coaching services designed specifically for parents and families like yours.
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