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Your Child Just Came Out - Here’s How to Support Them
When your child comes out, it can feel like everything shifts in an instant. Whether it was expected or came as a surprise, this is a pivotal moment for both of you. You may feel overwhelmed, uncertain, or even fearful about what lies ahead.
The truth is, many parents experience a wave of emotions—ranging from love and acceptance to confusion and fear. It’s perfectly normal to feel unsure about the future. But know this: You are not alone.
That’s why I’ve created “A Journey of Understanding: Support for Parents of Children Who Have Come Out,” a monthly letter-writing campaign designed to offer guidance, support, and resources as you navigate this life-changing experience. Below, I’ll share key insights on how to begin supporting your child—and yourself—on this journey.
Step 1: Acknowledge Your Feelings Without Judgment
When your child comes out, it’s natural to have a mix of emotions. Many parents experience thoughts like:
“It’s just a phase.”
“What will people think?”
“Will my child be okay?”
These feelings are common, and the first step is to acknowledge them without judgment. As I often say, “Name it to tame it”—meaning it’s important to recognize your emotions so you can start processing them.
In my Journey of Understanding letter-writing campaign, I walk parents through each emotional stage, offering practical advice on how to process your feelings and provide unconditional support to your child. This campaign is designed to help parents navigate the early, confusing stages of their child’s coming out process.
Here’s a brief excerpt from my first letter in the series:
“I invite you to join me on a journey. One that has the potential to be life-changing in the best of ways. One that, at minimum, may change the way you look at the world. One that will be beautifully, magically messy, yet somehow grounding, calming, and connective.”
Step 2: Understand What Your Child is Going Through
Your child’s coming out process is deeply personal, and they’ve likely been considering their identity long before sharing it with you. The initial stage they may experience is called identity confusion—where your child starts to recognize their sexual orientation or gender identity but may feel uncertain about what it means.
You can show your support by asking open-ended questions like “When did you realize this?” or “How do you feel about it now?”—questions that allow your child to share their thoughts and emotions in a safe, non-judgmental environment.
Through the monthly letters in “A Journey of Understanding”, I provide tools and guidance on how to have these meaningful conversations with your child. Together, you can create a safe, loving space for them to explore their identity while strengthening your connection.
Step 3: Seek Resources and Support
Finding reliable resources is crucial for both you and your child. Whether it’s educational content, support groups, or expert advice, having the right tools can make this journey much smoother.
In addition to monthly letters, “A Journey of Understanding” includes curated episodes from my podcast, Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen. These episodes feature real-life stories, expert insights, and practical advice tailored to parents who are navigating their child’s coming out process.
You can also explore my book, Parenting with Pride, which is designed to guide parents through this journey with confidence and compassion. By staying informed, you empower yourself to be the supportive parent your child needs.
Step 4: Remember, You Are Not Alone
One of the most important things to remember is that you are not alone. Many parents are walking this same path, and countless others have already navigated it. By joining “A Journey of Understanding,” you’ll not only receive guidance, but you’ll also connect with a supportive community of parents and caregivers who understand what you’re going through.
In every letter, I revisit the emotions, challenges, and growth I experienced when my own son came out. Sharing this journey with others is part of my mission to help parents feel less isolated and more empowered. The letters will give you a roadmap for understanding your emotions, supporting your child, and finding peace in this new chapter.
Join the Journey of Understanding
If your child has recently come out, or if you’re just beginning to navigate this journey, there’s no need to do it alone. “A Journey of Understanding” is designed to guide you every step of the way, offering personal insights, expert advice, and a supportive community to help you through.
By signing up for my newsletters, you’ll receive:
• Monthly letters exploring the emotional stages of your child’s coming out process
• Curated podcast episodes to deepen your understanding of LGBTQ+ issues
• Expert advice from my book Parenting with Pride
[Sign up today] to receive your first letter and begin your journey of understanding.
Call to Action:
[Join the Journey of Understanding] – Sign up now to receive monthly letters, curated podcasts, and expert advice tailored for parents of LGBTQ+ children.
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