EMBRACE • EDUCATE • EMPOWER • LOVE
Heather Hester, Founder of Chrysalis Mama and Creator/Host of Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen
Unique solutions for all LGBTQIA2+ Individuals, Parents and Families, Organizations, and Global Outreach
Through Coaching, Speaking, Consulting, Education, and Connection
EPISODE 78:WHEN YOUR LGBTQIA+ LOVED ONE FACES NON-AFFIRMING FOLKS DURING THE HOLIDAYS
Transforming the Conversation
Hi, my name is Heather Hester. Welcome to Chrysalis Mama.
You have probably landed on this page because your child or a loved one (grandchild? niece? friend?) has recently come out as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, or another sexual orientation or gender identity and you are looking for resources and tools. I know the joys and challenges of parenting an LGBTQ child.
Don’t panic. Take a deep breath. You are in the right place. I’ve been where you are. I’ve felt the shock, the joy, the terror, the growth, the unconditional love, the fierce mama bear response. It’s A LOT! And, it can be challenging to find support, guidance, resources, and education. That’s why I’m here.
Chrysalis Mama is the product of our family’s journey with depression, anxiety, and embracing our son, who, among many wonderful traits, is gay. It is my desire to pass on valuable information and offer support to those who are on a similar journey of loving and raising an LGBTQ+ child.
My mission is to transform the conversation around embracing, education, empowering, and loving LGBTQIA+ adolescents, teenagers, and young adults.
You may be asking – how do we change this conversation? I believe it starts within each one of us, blossoms within our families, and then grows within our communities and beyond. My principles are simple yet effective – To embrace, educate, empower, and love.
I am grateful for this opportunity to connect with parents, allies, advocates, and all who are, among all of their many wonderful traits, LGBTQ!
Nestled in this site you will find:
Covering topics ranging from the LGBTQ+ coming out process to mental health to improving diversity, equity, and inclusion in corporate spaces - the Chrysalis Mama blog is a space to learn, grow, and become empowered.
"... Target could have responded to critics in a way that would have advanced the national conversation surrounding polarizing issues.
I had the incredible opportunity last week to chat with reporter Brian Flood from Fox News Digital about the way Target handled their Pride campaign. We discussed how Target’s missteps have created conversations around how they could have better prepared as well as the greater discussion about Rainbow Capitalism.
Target had the opportunity to learn from what happened with Bud Light and prepare better internally and externally. Internally they could have offered their employees support and tools in the form of education and DEI training. An example of this in action would be coaching on what to say or do when met with an angry customer or hostility.
Externally they could have been prepared to increase security when and where necessary. They also could have given people a forum to express their concerns so they can have a bigger, more thoughtful conversation instead of letting bullying and intimidation shut down or shift their campaign. This forum could have been in the form of a hotline for questions, concerns, or complaints, or even a townhall in areas where it got particularly hostile.
I understand that part of the reason Target pulled merchandise off of the shelves was because their employees were threatened and I have compassion for the predicament that put Target management in. Threatening another human being is never okay. But giving into what amounts to intimidation 101 doesn’t get to the root of the fear or misinformation that is fueling it.
Target is a huge company. They have the resources to have taken this as an opportunity to have conversations and they blew it. Now it is affecting their business because they’ve upset everyone on every side. Furthermore, they’ve shown that their allyship was a thin veil for true rainbow capitalism.
So let’s talk about rainbow capitalism. The basic definition is profiting off of pride merchandise and/or the LGBTQ+ community with no underlying support of LGBTQ+ people or championing of LGBTQ+ causes.
The LGBTQ+ community makes up approx. 7.1% of the US population and 21% of Gen Z and Millennials consider themselves LGBTQ. According to a range of sources, the LGBTQ+ community alone has $900 billion - $1.4 trillion in spending power. And, that’s not even taking allies into account. This is a considerable number of both human beings and dollars added to the economy.
Many from the other side of this issue believe that corporations only exist to make money and be accountable to their shareholders. I argue that is but two of the many reasons corporations should exist. They exist to create employment, to offer products and services that better the consumer’s quality of life, to positively affect the communities with which they exist just to name a few reasons. They have the power and the influence to do good in the world, to take a stand and make a difference.
As a mom of LGBTQ kids and an entrepreneur of a company that supports families and children through the coming out process and beyond, what Target did really stung. We all watched a corporation give in to bullies insead of looking inside and figuring out how to protect it’s employees and keep them safe while also not letting the haters win.
Being an ally means standing with and caring for the LGBTQ community regardless. This is a time of strong rhetoric, conspiracy theories, and purposeful misinformation being spread by a very loud minority. It is a perfect example of how fear is used as a motivator to say and do horrific things. Because of the power of social media and the fact that this misinformation is spreading like wildfire, allies and advocates need to be even stronger, more determined, and more rooted in their support and love.
I was really happy with the article that Brian and his producer put together. Check out the full article and interview HERE.
Heather was a passionate and informed speaker on the topic of LGBTQ2S parenting. Heather shares her personal and professional experience through family storytelling and is able to connect to the audience in this candid way. Heather provided thoughtful and supportive feedback to parents’ questions and employees shared positive feedback after her informative session.
~Kallie Jackson, CN PRIDE ERG Co-Chair
Canadian National Railways
I am very happy to know that Heather is available to serve as a resource for parents of LGBTQ+ kids, and really to any parents at all. Everyone talks about being "inclusive", but Heather lives it. Heather is able to accept whatever comes her way and use the power of unconditional love and kindness to turn challenges into gifts. We can all learn a lot from Heather.
~Adam Simon, Executive Director
Odyssey Teen Camp
Heather was the calming voice in a world that was otherwise in upheaval. Heather was there to pick me up (although she didn't know it) and she was the best friend in my head helping me process and get through some difficult stuff. I loved that she gave ME permission to process and mourn my story now that it was being rewritten...Heather gave me the time I needed to get to the next step. Heather didn't judge me. I would download a podcast every morning and listen to ther during my walk. Her voice fixed it for me. Her voice soothed my heartache. Her voice helped me get to the next step of processing and her voice helped me move on. Heather helped me have difficult conversations that were based in kindness. She helped me to breathe. And I love her for that.
~Anonymous and thankful
I was searching for resources to be the best supportive mom I could be to my pre-teen (now teen) and found this amazing podcast! It was just what I needed! I knew I needed some guidance from a parent who had experience through a similar journey and Heather was there with perfect content and even talked with me personally through email. The community Heather has built through this podcast and Facebook page has given me the confidence to not be fearful through this journey but rather to embrace it and encourage my teen to be their authentic self!
~ Lauren Bo21
Heather is real, relatable, thoughtful, educated, and inclusive of every teen parent scenario in her talks. I love being able to hear first hand from someone who has gone through the “Valley of Darkness” and come out the other side a better person, informed, and able to help others right where they are.
Your centered, calming voice and demeanor help me to feel more peaceful. I experience you as therapeutic & your journey gives me more hope that we can love [our son] well. Thank you for giving your life away to me through sharing your story and the guests you interview.
I love your raw, real vulnerability. I am brand new on this journey and stumbled accidentally across your podcast on a road trip. I listened for 8 hours of driving and didn’t want to get to my destination because I wanted more. Using your own journey to help and support other parents is so brave and I am grateful to you and your family. Connor is so fortunate to have you ❤️
© 2023 Chrysalis Mama • All Rights Reserved