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EPISODE 78:WHEN YOUR LGBTQIA+ LOVED ONE FACES NON-AFFIRMING FOLKS DURING THE HOLIDAYS
Transforming the Conversation
Hi, my name is Heather Hester. Welcome to Chrysalis Mama.
You have probably landed on this page because your child or a loved one (grandchild? niece? friend?) has recently come out as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, or another sexual orientation or gender identity and you are looking for resources and tools. I know the joys and challenges of parenting an LGBTQ child.
Or, maybe you’re here because your company or organization is looking for Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) speakers or consulting. I can help you with that!
Don’t panic. Take a deep breath. You are in the right place. I’ve been where you are. I’ve felt the shock, the joy, the terror, the growth, the unconditional love, the fierce mama bear response. It’s A LOT! And, it can be challenging to find support, guidance, resources, and education. That’s why I’m here.
Chrysalis Mama is the product of our family’s journey with depression, anxiety, and embracing our son, who, among many wonderful traits, is gay. It is my desire to pass on valuable information and offer support to those who are on a similar journey of loving and raising an LGBTQ+ child.
My mission is to transform the conversation around embracing, education, empowering, and loving LGBTQIA+ adolescents, teenagers, and young adults.
You may be asking – how do we change this conversation? I believe it starts within each one of us, blossoms within our families, and then grows within our communities and beyond. My principles are simple yet effective – To embrace, educate, empower, and love.
I am grateful for this opportunity to connect with parents, allies, advocates, and all who are, among all of their many wonderful traits, LGBTQ!
Nestled in this site you will find:
My award-winning podcast, Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen
An in-depth blog
Resources, including a glossary and mental health support
Details on the keynote and workshop speaking opportunities I offer
Multiple other ways to connect and learn!
PODCAST
BLOG
Covering topics ranging from the LGBTQ+ coming out process to mental health to improving diversity, equity, and inclusion in corporate spaces - the Chrysalis Mama blog is a space to learn, grow, and become empowered.
Election Day Self-Care: 10 Tips to Stay Calm and ResilientToday is Election Day—finally.
After months of headlines, debates, and an endless news cycle, many of us feel the intensity of this moment, especially those who stand as allies for our LGBTQ+ loved ones. Election Day can bring a mix of emotions and stress, and with so much at stake, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. So today, let’s talk about self-care for Election Day and practical ways to manage Election Day stress.
Start with a little Election Day stress relief by listening to Episode 133 of Just Breathe, featuring Kelly Lubeck, a nervous system specialist. Kelly shares simple techniques to help soothe your nervous system, perfect for times of election anxiety.
2. Avoid Constantly Refreshing Poll Results
Election Day stress can worsen if you’re glued to the polls all day. It’s unlikely we’ll know the outcome tonight, so save yourself from unnecessary anxiety and take a break from constant updates. Let yourself breathe and focus on staying calm on Election Day.
3. Choose Calming Podcasts
If you enjoy podcasts, choose ones that keep you informed but calm. Avoid those that heighten election anxiety or amp up the drama. This Election Day, lean into content that supports your mental health and helps you take a breath.
4. Find Ways to Laugh
Laughter is one of the best ways to relieve Election Day stress. Whether it’s a favorite comedian, Friends, or TikTok’s funny pets, find something that brings out your natural laugh. Not only is laughter good for your mental health, but it’s also scientifically proven to boost your immune system.
5. Reach Out and Take Action
If taking action helps you stay calm, reach out to friends and family to ensure they have a voting plan. Doing so can channel nervous energy into something positive. Drop treats for poll workers or encourage others to vote—every small act counts.
6. Vote!
If you haven’t voted yet, make a plan and exercise this powerful right. Voting is one of the best ways to stand up for LGBTQ+ rights and for our collective future. Showing up for your values on Election Day is empowering and can ease some of the helplessness you may feel.
7. Practice Radical Self-Care
Radical self-care is essential for maintaining mental health on Election Day. Ask yourself, “What do I really need right now?” Go for a walk, turn off social media, or enjoy a warm bath. There’s no wrong answer, so embrace what helps fill your cup and keeps you grounded.
8. Journal to Clear Your Mind
Journaling is a great self-care tool for Election Day. When you write down your thoughts, you remove the power from feelings of overwhelm or fear, giving yourself the gift of clarity. Put your Election Day anxieties on paper—you’ll feel lighter.
9. Step Outside and Move
Connecting with nature is one of the best ways to manage Election Day stress. Go for a walk, admire the fall colors, or sit by the ocean if you’re nearby. Let the natural world remind you to slow down and ground yourself.
10. Take Deep, Conscious Breaths
A deep, belly breath can make a world of difference. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, pause, close your eyes, and take 5 slow, even breaths. This simple technique is a powerful way to calm your nervous system and carry calm with you throughout Election Day.
Bonus Breathing Technique: Take a moment to notice where you feel stress or anxiety in your body. Focus on a calm area and try to spread that feeling throughout. Visualize this calm and carry it with you as you navigate Election Day.
Finding Balance as an LGBTQ+ Ally on Election Day
Election Day can feel intense for those of us supporting LGBTQ+ rights and our loved ones. One candidate champions these rights, while the other poses a significant threat to the progress made. But today, while we advocate for what matters, let’s remember that self-care and mental health are just as crucial.
Want to keep the conversation going? Join me on TikTok and Instagram (@chrysalismama) for more tips and support. And for deeper insight, check out Episodes 133 and 134 of the podcast. Let’s support each other, stay centered, and remember that we’re not alone in this journey.
Additional Resources:
American Psychological Association (APA):
The impact of election stress: Is political anxiety harming your health?
Election 2024: 12 science-backed must-reads to help soothe anxiety
National Institute of Health (NIH):
Loving and raising an LGBTQ+ child is a very special journey that comes with very specific joys and challenges. It is vital - not to mention time, money, and potentially life saving - to work with someone who has traveled a similar path.
Here is why - in additional to the benefits of that person's life experience and the knowledge that comes along with it, you also get empathy, validation, and someone who can hold space for you.
Looking for a speaker or presenter on the topic of LGBTQ youth or allyship for your organization or event? You're in the right place!
I have intense life experience on the topic coupled with hundreds of hours consulting with professionals.
Audiences appreciate my raw and empathetic approach.
Parents and allies appreciate the relevant information and stories that provide them with education, tools, and strategies as well as the knowledge that they are not alone!
You are likely on this page because your child or a loved one has recently come out as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, or another sexual orientation or gender identity and you are looking for resources and tools. I know the joys and challenges of parenting an LGBTQ child.
Or, maybe you’re here because your company or organization is looking for someone
to lead LGBTQ+ Allyship workshops or speaking events. I can help you with that!
Don’t panic. Take a deep breath. You are in the right place. I’ve been where you are. I’ve felt the shock, the joy, the terror, the growth, the unconditional love, the fierce mama bear response. It’s A LOT! And, it can be challenging to find support, guidance, resources, and education. That’s why I’m here.
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Looking for tips, tools, and strategies along with a little peace of mind? I invite you into the Chrysalis world!
I am grateful for all who have asked how they can help further this mission!
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