Be You; Do You with Sam Castle

Overcoming adversity that led him to his life’s passion of being a life coach, Sam Castle is here to share his story about removing stigma, bias, and fear.  Sam shares about his gender transformation, how life coaching changed his world when traditional therapy could not, and his overall love and passion for helping others to live life courageously. 

Do not miss these highlights:

04:42 – How hiring a life coach changed his life in a way that 10 years of therapy could not

08:28 – “You are valuable, you are loved. And it all it all starts in your mind, in the thoughts because you are the creator of your reality.”

13:48 – Fear is keeping people from being more vocal in their support and those that are vocal in their misinformation are giving their opinion on experiences that they themselves have never had. 

18:06 – Don’t stay in that place, whether mental, emotional or phsyical, seek help.  There are resources.

21:34 – When you invest in yourself, be it financial, time or other resources, tohse are the ones that you get the most value from

23:26 – Our ups and downs are meant to grow us, not break us.

28:20 – Be authentic. It is okay to be messy, people want to know how you got through it.

35:49 – Trust in yourself and don’t be afraid to seek out the support you need.

About our Guest:

Sam Castle – “I am Sam of BE YOU; DO YOU podcast and life coach. Be you; do you podcast was inspired by my gender transition from female to male and learning to love and accept who I am….a show that amplifies REAL and RAW stories of authenticity and courageous living! Be you; do you will create a transformation for listeners and participants as you begin to see that even in our differences, we are so much alike. Be you; do you is a safe space for the queer community to be seen, felt, and heard…be uplifted and encouraged. It’s time to BE YOU; DO YOU and live courageously!”

You can find Sam’s podcast on spotify at https://open.spotify.com/show/235Kp7SogjS42Q26ZKPYN2

Transcript
JB Intro/Outro:

Welcome to Just breathe parenting your LGBTQ to the podcast transforming the conversation around loving and raising an LGBTQ child filled with awesome guests practical strategies and moving stories host Heather Hester always makes you feel like you're having a cozy chat. Wherever you are on this journey right now, in this moment in time, you are not alone. And here is Heather for this week's amazing episode

Heather Hester:

Welcome to Just breathe. I am so happy you all are here today. I am really, really happy to introduce Sam Castle to you. Sam is a life coach and training a mental health professional of 13 years and the creator of the brand new podcast be You do you? Be you do you was inspired by his gender transition from female to male three years ago. He has been married for three years to his lovely wife, Vanessa. And they have to Furbabies Hershey and snicker, which is so cute. I love that. He believes that all of us are placed in boxes by our family, our religion and society. And he is on a mission to encourage and inspire his transgender brothers and sisters to break free and live life courageously. Stories like Sam's that you are about to hear are so important to share to help remove stigma, bias and fear, to educate in a loving way. And to continue creating allies around the world. We are at a precarious time in our country. We're children and loving supporting families are being targeted by some of the ugliest, most harmful legislation in our history. I am grateful for Sam's courage, and that we all have this opportunity to learn from him so that we can be better informed advocates and allies moving forward. Sam, thank you so much for being here today. And for doing this with me and think this will be really fun.

Sam Castle:

Yes, this is gonna be awesome. I thank you for having me. I'm grateful for this experience and this opportunity. And thank you for the great introduction as well.

Heather Hester:

You are so welcome. I've been really looking forward to this conversation. Sam and I have we were introduced by a mutual friend a month or two ago, right?

Sam Castle:

Yeah, through Evans, connections.

Heather Hester:

He is the master of connections, we love Evans. And I've been really looking forward to this conversation because I love your story. And I think it is such an important story for many reasons, too, hear, to share to learn about so you know I am. I really appreciate the name of your podcast because it really embodies you. And it embodies what you want to share with the world and what we want so many we want every human to really embrace but that is such a it's such a great message. So thank you.

Sam Castle:arted my ginger transition in:Heather Hester:

I love that. We isn't that interesting. We don't ever know who we're going to meet. And we also don't know, how we're, what impact we're making, right? That just by shit like this, like you sharing your story. I believe in that way, which brought you all new people in your life, right? Positive connections, and supports and love. Right? That but sharing to other people who need that. And people people listening. People who down the road will listen and and hear your story, which is it is so I just can't say it enough. It is just so important. And I'm so grateful that you have the courage to to share it not only to share now but to look at your life and say okay, yeah, I What do I need to do? Right. That's a lot of courage. That was really hard. It did. And there were some really hard work involved.

Sam Castle:

Yeah. I mean, just my two breakthrough sessions that I had left me feeling like I party the night before. That's how much crap I uncovered. Just in in two days with my life coach, like all of my trauma, all my limited beliefs, everything that I thought about myself. Like, I was literally wiped out the next day, just from digging through that, but it's in that that I am learning who I am, which is learning to love who I am learning to value who I am and recognizing the greatness within myself, which is what I want to spread to, you know, my brothers and sisters is that you have greatness within you. You are valuable, you are loved. You know, and it all it all starts in your in your mind in the thoughts because you are the creator of your reality. And yeah, there is there are going to be assholes, you're going to feel some kind of way about it. But you don't have to take that on as your identity that doesn't define you.

Heather Hester:

Right. And that is something you said earlier when we were talking that I is so I just want you to share that again. Because I think that is something that we all need to hear. That we probably need to hear multiple times before it really sinks in. Right? I mean, I think that there's like that moment for everyone where they're like, oh, that's what that means. Oh my goodness. Yeah.

Sam Castle:

And you're gonna have those, you're gonna have that to the day you die. Those moments those aha moments scuze me. That's what life is about. And that's what be you do you is it's it's a journey. It's a process. It's not a final destination. So I still have my days. I'm not saying that I'm perfect, but because I'm more aware now. I'm able to reprogram, you know my negative thoughts with the thoughts I want in creating the life I want. Right and like I said, I don't even remember what I said in the beginning. You know, it's it never comes out,

Heather Hester:

comes out the same now it's not supposed to, it's okay.

Sam Castle:

I think what I was ultimately saying is that I used to get really triggered by everything by everything someone said did to me. But it wasn't until, like I said, I worked with a life coach that I learned was valuable to me, I was able to create new beliefs. Because what I learned was a lot of our beliefs are painted by other people, and they're given to us from when we're very from when we're very young. So they're, they're ultimately not our beliefs. We just take those on, and then we pile on more crap, crappy beliefs to those.

Heather Hester:

Right, right. Well, that is that I think that is a really, really, goodness, I really think we were meant to have this conversation today. About about a while about so many things. But I was just having this conversation the other day with somebody that I'm working with a coach that I'm working with, and really digging down to my core beliefs, what are my core beliefs? And I will tell you, I have thought all along well, here they are. Yeah, well, when we were talking about it, I was like, I was saying 100 words, but I really wasn't saying and I realized, oh my gosh, like I have I know. And to your point, which is I know what I was given, given? Yeah. But that doesn't align with who I am. Yes. Right. And so in some of it, a little bit of it does, but in a very different way that I that I learned it. And so a lot of this is being able to take those pieces and and be like, Okay, well that that still feels right and good. But maybe shifted. Right? Yeah. And then being able to take those pieces where you're like, that wasn't mine ever. And I'm letting it go. Because only once you're able to let go of those pieces, can you really be who you are meant to be 100% Fully who you are meant to be on this earth.

Sam Castle:

But you have to be definitely willing to challenge him. Absolutely. Because if you don't, you'll stay stuck in those beliefs. And I feel like you miss out on a lot of opportunity to meet a lot of great people.

Heather Hester:

Yes, you do.

Sam Castle:

That may not look like you or think like you or believe like you, you know, I? That's what life is all about. It's we're all having this human experience and who I'm being every day, that's what matters. Like, I'm I'm being love like, you don't just, I'm not you don't deserve my judgment. Like that's not for me to, for me to do.

Heather Hester:

Right. Right.

Sam Castle:

My goal is my job is to love you. Right, to show compassion to be empathetic and understanding. And I understand that. That's not the world that we live in currently. But as people like me, people like you. were challenging that we're going to change, we're going to change that. Because there's more people that want to see good than, than bad. I know that for sure.

Heather Hester:

Yes, I believe that as well. I do believe that. And I also believe there are so many more people out there who think this way and believe this way, but there is a lot of fear. And there and it's becoming a little it's becoming scarier. To be able to say those things or voice out loud or the way you may feel about something, you know, based on where you live, right. So it's not becoming less scary. It's becoming scarier. So that's why what you're doing and what I'm doing is even more important and doom courage, you know, every you know, anyone out there who is has something to say, say it and and there isn't an expectation of like you said I like that of perfection of it is being curious and when you can allow yourself to be cured. He is, right. That doesn't mean you're gonna agree with everything. That doesn't mean everything's gonna align. Right. But it means that you see the other person. Yeah. And do what's best for you. Right?

Sam Castle:

That's what B you do. He's about to it's just do what's best for you. I mean, if it doesn't align, it doesn't align, but you don't have to be an asshole to other people because your belief doesn't align with theirs.

Heather Hester:

I think that should be your tagline. Sir.

Sam Castle:

I mean, we can all have an underlying like, it's understanding, you know, but you don't have to be a jerk about it.

Heather Hester:

Right. Right. And I think sometimes that that the, the jerkiness that those behaviors? Why don't you think I know that? That all stems from fear. Fear, right. And misunderstanding the unknown. Right? The misinformation? The? Just the?

Sam Castle:

Yeah, I think for me the most is people's opinions about someone else's lived experience.

Heather Hester:

could not say that better myself? Yes. Detto.

Sam Castle:

Like, how can you have an experience? How can you have an opinion of something you've never experienced?

Heather Hester:

Right? You just can't.

Sam Castle:

It's like, take a seat, buddy and have some popcorn. And watch and watch the show. So you can learn something? Perhaps, you know,

Heather Hester:

perhaps? Yes, perhaps I'm fired.

Sam Castle:

Hey, I'm fiery, too. That's, that's what I'm going to help my clients is to be fierce, fearless and fearful. Like, yes, I'm gonna take life on. You know,

Heather Hester:

it is yes to this is no time to sit back and pick your feet up. This is an it is if I if there's any. You know, one message that I share is I was scared of everything. I mean, I have I have a My, my personality is I'm actually an introvert. I am I am an extroverted introvert. That is what I am. And, but I am fiery. And I am a mama bear. And don't you dare mess with my kids. And then and Don't you mess with their people? Right. Like never there people are. Right. Right. And and don't mess with my people. Yeah, right. Yeah. So that helps me walk through my fear. Right. And I'm guessing that may be part of what you know, when you have those days where you are scared or when you're like, oh, yeah, yeah, we're fiery. And you are fierce and you are determined. Yeah. And that is what helps you be like, Okay, this is maybe the scariest thing I've ever done, but I'm going to do it anyway. Because I have to.

Sam Castle:

The fear is what? I think fear helps you. Yes, it can. It can. You can either hide. Or you can take it with you. Right but even even and that's what courage is about. It's doing something when you're scared. That's right. I mean, I was scared to tell my story about my Trent, you know, my transition on Facebook, but I did it. I mean, what's the worst can happen? I was fearful. But I did it. You know, I went through my transition. I was scared, but I did it. And I don't regret it. I don't look back. I mean, it's actually helped me mentally emotionally overall for my well being. Because I wouldn't have I wouldn't be here had I not had I not done it. If I didn't go with my transition, I wouldn't be here. I I hated feeling lost, trapped in a body that I knew was not mine. Like it was almost made my skin crawl. Like I just wanted to get out. That's the best way I can describe it. So I don't I don't encourage anyone to stay in that place. Regardless if it's your no transition, whatever it is in life, like if you're that miserable. Just get get out some way. Connect with someone, get support, you know, resources are there. You can talk to me. Yeah.

Heather Hester:

Thank you for sharing that. And thank you for sharing that in a way that is so clear. There's no question. Yeah. What Your lived experience was and what your lived experience is now. And I love that. Thank you. Thank you, thank you, I think many times we it's easier to dance around and write like paint, pretty picture.

Sam Castle:

But it ain't been pretty.

Heather Hester:

I think being able to, you know, I know being able to share and such a vulnerable way is not only helpful for every person listening, it's helpful for you, it's helpful for me, those vulnerable moments are what people connect

Sam Castle:

with. Yeah, there's so much that I can share. I mean, there's so much and I just, I don't want to leave nothing out. But I just know that I was an emotional adult. But it was unhealthy emotions. You know, I acted out when I shouldn't act out. You know. But once I became aware of that, like I said, I reached out to a life coach, it was the biggest investment I've ever made in my life. The biggest investment

Heather Hester:

which says many things, but probably one of the biggest reasons that I think when we make investments like that, whether it's financial, or time or whatever, those are the things I mean, not only is that a statement to ourselves, this is important, and I'm going to do this it is I am not wasting, you know, whether it's the financial resources, the time resources that whatever your you know, the resource is, yeah, that makes you, you get every single ounce of value out of it, and you give, as, you know, every single ounce of value that you possibly can, right. Absolutely. So I think that is a really I know. I mean, my working with I work with abans, he is one of my coaches, and he working with him is the biggest investment that I've ever made. And I, every single day, I'm so grateful for the line of people that I had to meet to meet him, right. But, you know, these things all happen for a reason. And I, you know, whatever, whatever your belief system is, whether it's, you know, God, the universe, the angels, your messengers, whatever it is, they are talking to you all the time.

Sam Castle:

God has never given up on me and that's another thing is I my relationship with him as grown grown closer because he's a, he's a creator, so and he's given He's given us these gifts

Heather Hester:

to create to create, right.

Sam Castle:

So I know we go through challenges I know we go through heartaches we go through ups and ups and downs, but they're meant to grow us, you know, not to break us. And it's through him that I'm still here. And he's helped me create all of this Yeah. Yeah. And faith have having faith is another is huge.

Heather Hester:

Yeah. Agreed. Yeah. I agree. Yeah. And, and how awesome is it that it doesn't have to look just one way it doesn't.

Sam Castle:

You can have you can have whatever relationship you want to have. And it looks different to everyone praise or you want to praise you don't write just be you do you in it authentically your own way. And that's the thing you that I want to share too is we you do you in your own way doesn't have to look like my my journey doesn't have to look like anyone else's journey. And I say that because I was so worried about my podcasts having to look a certain way, having to sound a certain way. But people are going to see you for you. And if you show up pretending to be someone else. No, it's not going to work.

Heather Hester:

Well, and people know that people can feel that. Yes. Right. Yes. I mean, think about how many times that you meet somebody or you hear somebody in your life. Hmm, about that. Right? Right. But you just don't connect, because there isn't that authenticity there. And so I know for most of most of my life, I have this like, great fear of not being perfect, whatever perfect is right? Perfect doesn't exist. But yeah, and in the sense of, like, that's kind of what, you know, I was the oldest I was, you know, this, this this,

Sam Castle:

right? So we're held to a different standard, or you felt that.

Heather Hester:

And so I was there were, you know, there were the boxes that had to be checked. That never felt quite right. I checked them. But it was always like this kind of disconnect. And I still remember, and it took, you know, Connor coming out for a lot of these things to come to light and for them to come to realization for me, where I was like, oh, gosh, I don't have to be perfect. I, I can cry in front of my kids. Yeah, I can, I can be messy in front of my kids, I can mess up and have to apologize. And it's okay, that they know that I'm not perfect. Like, in fact, it's better that they know that I'm not perfect. Right? That was a huge I know, that sounds so obvious, and perhaps silly. But I it was a huge hurdle for me to to realize that. And that was, you know, part of my bu do you process? And you

Sam Castle:

just answered my question. I was gonna say, I was gonna say, so would you say that to be you? Do you moment for you, because it sounds like it, like you came to that awareness that you didn't have to be perfect, you can be vulnerable in front of your kids, which I think we need a lot more of.

Heather Hester:

Right? Well, and then doing starting this podcast doing this podcast? Yeah. When I started it, it was, you know, I'd been doing my website. And, and that was kind of the place where I was just listing my resources and things that I found, and I thought would be helpful to other families. And really, that was just my whole goal at that time was I don't want other families, other parents, other kids, other allies, to go through what we went through, because it was so hard. And it was so isolating, and it was, you know, just all of these things. So when the idea when Kate, you know, decided I'm going to do a podcast. I didn't know what I was doing. And, and it scared me to death because I was like, Well, I don't know anything about podcasting. But I'll just go ahead and take a class on it. Because you know, that's gonna tell me everything I need. And, and jumped in there and just did it. And I it's one of the few things in my life that I haven't overthought forever, because I'd probably still be sitting here today, thinking, Oh, should I do it?

Sam Castle:

Should I not do likewise? Right.

Heather Hester:

But I was like, this is important, because there are other parents and families out there like ours who need this information. And it's not easily accessible right now. No. So and people, other people need to know that it's okay to be messy, and that this whole thing is messy. And that's okay. And so I think that was, you know, kind of another another moment for me. And other be you do you moment where I was like, I'm just doing this. Yeah. And it is going to be messy. And I am probably going to cry on my podcast. And I'm going to tell our story. And I'm going to talk to other people who are amazing and wonderful. And we're just going to do this.

Sam Castle:

Well, no, well, no one wants to see perfection, like people want to see your mess. They want to see the messiness, and then see how you got through that so that they can get through it too.

Heather Hester:

Right. Well, I think I inadvertently, you know, at the time, I didn't realize that's what I was doing. I look back I'm like, Oh, look how that worked.

Sam Castle:

Yeah, I mean, because when I heard a couple of your episodes, for me, I was just like, oh, well, I wish that was available when I came out. You know, but things like, yeah, podcast wasn't even a thing. No. I mean, I didn't. In my household. We didn't even talk about mental health. We didn't. We didn't share our emotions. My mom was head of the household. The provider, I didn't really see her cry. You know, I always saw this strong woman, you know, she had to be strong for us. So that wasn't even a thing.

Heather Hester:

Right? Well, and likewise. The range of the motion was very narrow. And, and yes, there was great strength. And it's interesting that you said that because I think you and I, and so many were and are programmed to believe that strength means you don't express emotion. Yes. And it doesn't. And it took me a long time to realize that.

Sam Castle:

Yeah, we need to write. Yeah.

Heather Hester:

And I am grateful that you have, excuse me have learned this at a much younger age than I did. And that,

Sam Castle:

I wouldn't say I'm young. Well, you're I'm an I'm an OG. I'm an OG.

Heather Hester:

Well, you look young. And I know that you are younger than me. So you know, I've just been anybody who's younger than me as younger. Well, I because I don't feel old, either. Although, you know, when I think about me, this is a total aside. Funny thing to say. But for the longest time, I would, you know, it'd be like, Oh, I have four kids. And this is, you know, so much fun. And I'm, you know, 30 or whatever, whatever. 40. And, and now, I'm like, Oh, my gosh, I have four kids. And I'm not 40 anymore.

Sam Castle:

I mean, look about 35. About 35.

Heather Hester:

You're very tight. You're very kind. I just had a very big birthday.

Sam Castle:

You did? I did. Did you do anything exciting?

Heather Hester:

I did. I do be i You You know what I really did? Be you do you for my birthday? It was pretty awesome. It was the big five? Oh, just for anybody who's like trying to figure it out? Yes. I'm 50 Thank you very much.

Sam Castle:

I'm right behind you. 10 years.

Heather Hester:

That's, that's good. See, because you know what, this is what I think when when I think oh, all these these years. And I'm like, wisdom, live experience and wisdom. Right? A lot of that? Yes, you do. Yes, you do. And you get to share that with the world. And that is one of the coolest things about podcasting.

Sam Castle:

It is I just feel like I haven't shared enough. I'm like, what is there more I can share? I mean, there's just been so much that has happened, like positive things that have happened in such a short time. That is just unexpected, you know, the things that are just unexplainable. You just you have to be there to experience it. Yeah, that's how it feels. Yes.

Heather Hester:

Yes. When you over time, I'm guessing might find words to, to describe them. But I think, you know, that's part of this whole amazing journey. Yeah. And, and over time, you will find that you weave your story, pieces of it. And whether it's different podcast episodes, or, you know, if you write things or however else you share things, you'll kind of weave everything in and out. So it becomes like this really cool. Right? Sharing over time, because I think it's really hard to get it all out in one setting. It's I mean, first of all, you'd have to go take a nap afterwards because

Sam Castle:

I just I just want to add value. i There's a lot more that I want to share, but I just, you know, just hoping it adds value and help someone out there that may be struggling, you know, with their identity and trying to figure it all out. The thing is, is you don't have to have it all figured out is what I learned.

Heather Hester:

No, you don't. Yeah. What would be your advice? For? I think it would be different for two. So I'm going to ask us two separate questions. Your advice for a an adolescent or a teenager, who is who just realizes is in that same spot that you were in, where they're just like, this doesn't match who I am on the inside does not match who I am on the outside? What would be your advice to them? And then again, the same for somebody who is, you know, in their 20s? Over 25, let's say? Because I think it probably, I'm guessing it would be probably a little different, maybe, but maybe not. So I don't want to assume

Sam Castle:

maybe not. It just depends on where they're at in their mindset thought process. It just depends. So that's a good question. I know for me, I mentioned when we spoke previously, I had to figure out a lot on my own. So now that we do have social media, we have tons of resources, I would say connect with someone you trust. With that information. Whether it's a teacher, a counselor, a therapist, I know they have all types of apps. I don't know how much has changed as far as age wise, but I know there's a lot of things you can do. Where you don't have to let anyone know, like parental if you if you're afraid to tell your parents or if it's not safe to do so. But I would just say get connected with someone that you feel safe with. And sharing that information or whether it's a pastor, you know, a family friend, someone, someone who's close to you, that you can open up to I think for me, I if I had that outlet, if I had someone to express that to I think I would have maybe navigated a little differently.

Heather Hester:

Yeah, yeah.

Sam Castle:

But I had to figure it out on my own, I had to, you know, it came out in other ways, like I acted out behavior wise, toxic relationships, connecting with the wrong people. That's how I kind of like help figure myself out was in not so healthy behaviors.

Heather Hester:

Not so healthy, but also not so healthy and give lots of good information. And I this is something that I I find just so interesting, where, you know, we are all so programmed that, you know, anger is bad, and, and acting out is bad, and, you know, whatever. And yes, if it, you know, obviously, there are extremes, and there are is if it is harming another human being absolutely right. Right. But if it is just you are there's, that is information, right? There's such good information that that if, if we're able to kind of stop and be like, Why am I so angry right now? Or why did I just like have a meltdown over having to unload the dishwasher for the 10th time this week? Like, yeah, it's kind of silly, right? I mean, yes, it's annoying, but it's not worth a meltdown. Right. So I mean, that's such a funny example. But it can be something as benign as that, where if you? I guess my my message would be know that there's information and anger. Yeah. And don't beat yourself up for it.

Sam Castle:

Yes. Yes. Another piece of advice would be don't don't judge yourself. Yes. Be Be patient with yourself in the journey in the process. There will be things that will, you know, catch you off guard, like the anger, you'll question it, like, why am I angry? Because I did notice that a lot. I was angry. I was angry, frustrated, I had anxiety. But fast forward. I know why now. Right. I was trying to figure out who I was and that's how it came out. And like you said, it's not a bad thing. But some of my acting out, did have consequences. Like some of it was extreme. So I would say you know, pay attention to those. Those emotions, you know, to

Heather Hester:

write well, I think that the the The what I hear you saying what I think is really important that I want. There's a lot out there about, you know, any, from any age starting at the tiny, tiny little children all the way through life, right? That bad behavior equals a bad person, right? Or anger equals a bad person. And and we're all just kind of taught that right? So you know, that kid is acting like a, you know, throwing stuff in school. So they're bad, they're a bad kid. Well, there's there's information there. So, you know, getting to the root of whatever that is, yes, whatever. It there's typically something there. Yes, that's

Sam Castle:

right. There was there. Yeah, there's something there, there's typically something there. And it doesn't make you a bad person at all. There's nothing wrong with you. There's just something there that you need to investigate, and figure out how to move forward.

Heather Hester:

Right? And if you are listening to this, and you're thinking, Okay, how do I move forward? Who do I reach out to, because I don't know who to reach out to, then please reach out to Sam, or reach out to me. And all of our contact information will be in the show notes. So one of us can connect you to a multitude of people who are safe and loving, and absolutely help you through this. And the same goes for parents who are listening? Who may, you know, if you have a child, who is you know, struggling with gender identity, again, reach out to one of us because that's why we're here.

Sam Castle:

That's why we're here with no judgment.

Heather Hester:

Absolutely. Oh, my goodness. Absolutely. No judgment, no judgment and no shame. Yeah, that allowed. So I love that you're doing this. And because I think it is very thought provoking. And so I, my challenge is to to really think about that. So to, you know, to, to you to our listener, and to really think about what is to be you, do you mean to you? Because it's different for everybody, right? So when I was thinking about it, you know, for me, I thought, you know, for me now in this space I'm in right now. And I think this is also a really awesome point that you made, which is we are constantly growing and changing. You are in a different space now than you were even a month ago when we talked. And so we are constantly learning new things about ourselves about others about how we want to be in this world how we want to relate to other humans, all of these awesome things. Yeah,

Sam Castle:

I remember I was nervous as hell and sweating bullets when we last talked,

Heather Hester:

right? Look at you now. Calm as a cucumber. Just I just want you to know this is so just right. This is so much fun. All this is which is what I love is they're just awesome conversations. And so but I think the whole be you do you right now in this moment in time, like I would say means living fully as who you are meant to be in this world. Yeah, so embracing all of yourself, not just the pieces that you're like, Oh, I really liked that about me. But embracing the pieces were like that my favorite but that's kind of part of what makes me me, right? Like those imperfections and those cracks are kind of the coolest part. And so embracing all of that and just like really being like

Sam Castle:

Yeah, yeah. Be you do you is in all of your uniqueness, all your quirks, your personality.

Heather Hester:

All of it. All of it matches all the pieces,

Sam Castle:

not just the not just the mushy stuff. Exactly. The mess to the machine, the mess

Heather Hester:

the machine and the mass. I like that.

Sam Castle:

Yeah, I just came up with that.

Heather Hester:

I think you need to trademark that. The machine and the machine the

Sam Castle:

mess and Embrace it all, because that's a party who you are in your story. And people need to hear all of the story.

Heather Hester:

Right? Well, and if you think about, like, the people that you love the most, right? Yeah. What do you what are the things that you love about them? Not that they have perfect hair, or that they, you know, can run really fast or that they're incredibly fit? Or what things that you love the most and that you connect the most on? Are your imperfections, right? Or you're like, oh, my gosh, we totally haven't seen common and this

Sam Castle:

right? Yeah. Even the embarrassing family reunion moments, right that that favorite on Uncle you have? Yes, man, I had this uncle. He's passed since but he would come to the family gatherings with styrofoam plates. And he would pack up his food. Like, yeah, he would pack up his food and then come back to the gathering and eat. So he would our you know, like he was already prepared. Oh, that'd be the first packet but to go plate in. Yeah.

Heather Hester:

Before there was even to go before that leftovers.

Sam Castle:

He was out that one uncle. Oh, I love that. See? It was hilarious.

Heather Hester:

And that is just

Sam Castle:

Yeah. Or he would go we'd go out to fast food somewhere he'd stocked up on he would take their straws their napkins, their ketchup packets, the sugar packets, everything

Heather Hester:

you just never know. You'd never know. Oh, my goodness.

Sam Castle:

That was that one uncle that. Gotta love them.

Heather Hester:

You know you do because those are like the quirky fun things that just make. Man that person a person.

Sam Castle:

Or this one. This was hilarious. He'd walk into church when churches almost ending eating just snacking away. Like he's entering a movie.

Heather Hester:

And amen. Yeah.

Sam Castle:

That was my uncle. came as he was.

Heather Hester:

Well, you know what? Love that? Yeah. Yeah. Love that.

Sam Castle:

That's what I appreciate about him. He was he was himself.

Heather Hester:

Look, these are the stories you're still telling. Right? Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah. That's good stuff.

Sam Castle:

This was pretty awesome. I'm so glad we made this happen, this connection

Heather Hester:

to very much, very, very much. So thank you. Thank you so much for doing what you are doing in the world. Thank you, because I know that it's gonna make a huge difference. And just really, really grateful that we were connected, and look forward to a long, long relationship back and forth sharing things.

Sam Castle:

Likewise, thank you for having me.

Heather Hester:

You are so welcome.

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